after waking up with a bad wine hangover, first thing i did was take a long ass piss (i swear it was like the austin powers piss where he kept stopping and going a few times!) and make my way to my kitchen to look for some frozen burritos in my fridge. but damn, i found no burritos. i was scratching my head, sat myself down and started thinking about where and who the fck ate all my frozen burritos?! who the hell ate a whole box of my burritos?! then an epiphany [queue the allelujah music] i remembered that my sister from arizona and my parents were home last weekend watching tv all day and munching on burritos. ugh! how dare they not save me at least one jose ole burrito?!

on another note:
i'm pretty proud at the fact that when i come home messed up and semi-conscious, i can still manage to rummage through my mail sitting on my counter then crawl back upstairs to brush my teeth, splash water on my face to remove make-up residue, undress, and most of all... remove my contacts without gouging my eyes out. all of this probably took me a good ten to fifteen minutes last night but i could've accomplished all this more quickly if i had my balance. thanks bffs for getting me home safely and thanks g for trying to feed me nuggets. i know i acted like a difficult, childish, vulgar baby last night. i just wanted to take a nap. was that too much to ask for?